Identify Expanders

Contributed by: Ginger Rothhaas, Compassion Fix

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A few years ago, my friend Kara called me an “Expander” in her life. Kara is a super cool human being who is always teaching me new things. As soon as her word “Expander” hit my brain, it felt good and I wanted to know more. She explained that one of her spiritual teachers coined the term to mean someone in your life who helps you expand into your potential.

She described an Expander as someone you identify with who is what you want to become or is doing what you want to do. They embody what you want. They give you the inspiration that, if they have it, then you can too.

Kara said that I am an Expander to her “of faith, strength, self-compassion, knowingness, individuality, joy, and fun.” I immediately loved this new job title and made it my mission to become even more of that for the people in my life.

Kara is an Expander to me too. She suggests things that I haven’t thought of yet. She confirms my intuition and encourages me to follow it. She was the one who encouraged my first ideas for my business, Compassion Fix, and the work I do today. When we are together we talk about our dreams, share our wonderings, and help each other see how it can all be possible. She expands my heart and mind.

Who are the Karas in your life? And who can you be a Kara for?

Find those people who help you expand. I’m always watching for people who expand my thinking, help me learn, and encourage my potential. I feel more alive and happier when I’m with my Expanders. I am more authentic, energized and hopeful around them. If, as you read this, your inner critic is whispering: “that sounds a little selfish,” open your curiosity about this topic and tell that inner critic to be quiet for a few minutes while you read the rest of this section.

If we are all living in an expanded manner, we inspire others to do the same. It isn’t selfish, it is world-serving.

The opposite of expansion is constraint. This happens when we get defensive instead of open to learning something new. It happens when we play small and dim our lights. Constraint occurs around certain people who are jealous or questioning our talents. We constrict when we live in fear. Constraint occurs when we surround ourselves with only people who agree with us.

Expansion comes when we open up to being a little uncomfortable, seeing a new point of view, and exploring new ideas. There is so much to learn in our lifetime; open up to it, and allow yourself to expand.

TRY THIS

Expand this week. Expand the love you have for others by reaching out a little further. See if you can expand the love you have for yourself this week too. Take a deep breath and notice the expansion of your lungs. Drive a new route to work. Try food from another culture. Read about a topic you have always wanted to explore. Stretch yourself in new ways. Expand beyond your comfort zone just a notch and see how it feels. Find your Expanders and be an Expander.

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Ginger Rothhaas, MBA, MDiv. is a seminary trained compassion coach who teaches about compassion at the intersection of neuroscience and spirituality. She is the founder of Compassion Fix Coaching, and she has written a book of mental health practices titled Being Human: 150 Practices to Make it Easier. She lives in Kansas City with her husband, their two teenage children, and two very enthusiastic dogs.

You can find Ginger at:

Websites: gingerrothhaas.com, compassionfix.com

Facebook and Instagram: @gingerrothhaas and @compassionfix

New Book: Being Human