Think of Yourself as a Student

Contributed by: Ginger Rothhaas, Compassion Fix

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A client once shared a story about her young granddaughter staying at her house for the weekend. As my client was having her morning coffee, the little girl came into the kitchen in her jammies, blankie under her arm, face lit up with excitement. "Grandma!” she exclaimed. “It hasn't ever been this day before!"

Her grandmother loved her joy and so did I. I love how she approached the new day with awe and bewilderment, like a student seeing everything for the first time. It’s important for all of us to remember that no matter our age, our experiences are always new to us. We’ll always be students, and we’ll always be learning new things.

Author Elizabeth Gilbert once mentioned in a social media post that she wrote "student" on her hand as the "best defense against self-abuse, shame, perfectionism, failure, and regret." When I saw this, I was in the midst of feeling some severe stage fright as I was preparing for a few major speaking engagements. I realized that with a student mindset, I could drop the expectation of being perfect from the start, and notice instead that I improved every time I was on stage.

I would tell myself: "it doesn't have to be perfect today because you are still a student." It did wonders to help my stage fright go away and is a practice I continue to this day whenever self-doubt appears. When I experience times of deep self-doubt, I write "student" on my hand to remind myself that I am always learning and growing.

Reminding yourself that you’re just a student is also helpful during uncertain times, much like what we’ve all been through over the past few years. When our shared experiences are particularly challenging, it’s important to remember that no one has lived through such a time before. We are all just students of life, no matter what it brings.

We’re all works in progress, as individuals and as a society. Humanity has never been here before. Be gentle with your expectations of yourself and others. We are in a constant state of learning. We are all just students.

TRY THESE

1. When you feel fear, self-doubt, confusion, anger or any other uncomfortable emotion, ask yourself the following questions through the lens of being a student:

• What can I learn from this experience?

• What can I learn from this person?

• How would I feel if I admit I do not know the answer?

• How would it feel to tell someone that I have never done what I am doing before?

• How does it feel to remind myself that I am still learning ?

• Can I release the need to do this perfectly?
  

2.  Try writing “student” on your hand for a day. Think of yourself as a student. Do you notice a shift in your thinking? Does it remind you to be gentler to yourself or to others?

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Ginger Rothhaas, MBA, MDiv. is a seminary trained compassion coach who teaches about compassion at the intersection of neuroscience and spirituality. She is the founder of Compassion Fix Coaching, and she has written a book of mental health practices titled Being Human: 150 Practices to Make it Easier. She lives in Kansas City with her husband, their two teenage children, and two very enthusiastic dogs.

You can find Ginger at:

Websites: gingerrothhaas.com, compassionfix.com

Facebook and Instagram: @gingerrothhaas and @compassionfix

New Book: Being Human