Train Your Brain to Say “...Yet”

Contributed by: Ginger Rothhaas, Compassion Fix

Years ago, I found myself wanting to try a yoga class. But I kept telling myself: “You’re not flexible enough.” I said it so much, my brain logged it as fact. And so, to no surprise, for years I never gave yoga a try.

What I didn’t know was that I was training my brain with the kind of black-and-white thinking that our brains love: either we can or can’t do something. Either we’re good or bad at something. Either we like something, or we don’t. That’s because we’re hardwired for survival from way, way back—to the times when our ancestors had to learn things like red berries are poisonous, but blueberries are okay. That kind of thinking kept us safe—it kept us alive.

Millions of years later, we’ve evolved past the necessity of black-or-white thinking. Thankfully, there’s a way to hack our way out of it. It’s a practice known as “the power of ‘...yet.’”

If I say to myself, “I’m not flexible…yet,” I’m giving myself a dose of hope. Growth becomes a real and tangible possibility. Wiring-wise, my brain can now see those shades of gray: I can’t do it yet, but I can work toward it. That potential for growth can become our default thinking—we can rewire our brains to help us grow. To remember that there’s potential. And to keep working toward what we ultimately want.

The study of neuroplasticity tells us that our brains can be re-wired by changing our thought patterns; neuroscientists continue to validate the power of positive thinking. We know now that our brains are more malleable than we once thought. We can overcome that black-and-white thinking that’s hardwired into us and can sometimes stop us from moving forward.

Practicing tools such as the power of ‘...yet’ allows our brains to make new neural connections and improve our compassion skills both toward ourselves and toward others.

The power of adding the word ‘...yet’” to your limiting thoughts is fostering a growth mindset, which means you’re teaching your brain that anything possible. You believe that skills can be learned and that you have potential. Best of all, in a growth mindset, you stop hearing your inner critic and let your inner encourager run the show instead.

Try This

When you hear yourself thinking a negative or hopeless thought, add the word “yet” to the thought. Continue at this on a regular basis to train your brain to rewire its black-and-white thinking. Soon, you’ll feel hope start to enter in. Here are some examples:

I'm not good at this…yet.

I don't know the answer…yet.

I'm not confident…yet.

I'm not able to run a 5K…yet.

I'm not healthy…yet.

I didn't get the promotion…yet.

I’m not organized…yet.

I don't know how to ______…yet.

I can't ______…yet.

I don't have _______…yet.

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Ginger Rothhaas, MBA, MDiv. is a seminary trained compassion coach who teaches about compassion at the intersection of neuroscience and spirituality. She is the founder of Compassion Fix Coaching, and she has written a book of mental health practices coming out in Fall 2023 titled Being Human: 150 Practices to Make it Easier. She lives in Kansas City with her husband, their two teenage children, and two very enthusiastic dogs.

You can find Ginger at:

Websites: gingerrothhaas.com, compassionfix.com

Facebook and Instagram: @gingerrothhaas and @compassionfix